There’s seems to be an outbreak of monkeypox in the mid-eastern United States. We should probably issue a health warning and travel ban to prevent the spread of this disease. Apparently, it’s similar to smallpox but not as bad and it actually is named monkeypox. The say that the likely cause were ill prairie dogs that were taken in as family pets. You don’t want the monkeypox.
Update: They are searching for the source of the monkeypox outbreak. The best thing they can come up with right now is an exotic pet dealer in Villa Park, Ind. called Phil’s Pocket Pets. They also have several other best-selling diseased exotic pocket pets like hamster tied to mouse and ball of fuzz.