Dave Kellam

@darngooood I just discovered that you own butt.guru. That is awesome. Best wishes as you explore the depths of margarita.

If I order delivery, should I put on jeans or are pyjama pants cool?

@scott_riley

@scott_riley I expect an extra hug next time I see you 😘

@scott_riley done and done

@Samanthropy that might it make it worse 🙁

@Samanthropy that looks like a plate of sadness

@timiiggy you live in Germany! They have toilets meant for inspecting your pooop. 💩🙃

@richardmtl yes that too! Also why won’t Jenny go out with me? Is it my braces?

Yes. I am tweeting about poop and dating profiles. It’s like old school Twitter.

I trimmed my beard and tossed the remmenants in the toilet. I didn’t flush. Later I pooped. What the fuck, why am I pooping hair? Oh, right.

That’s what I tell all my potential partners