Home on the range

Read some sex advice from cowboys:

Tom, 59
A male friend of mine is having a hard time making his girlfriend come. What’s your advice for him?
First of all, he should give her to me. Because, goddamn, I’d lick her cross-eyed.

Larry, 47
What’s a no-fail seduction line?
I dunno. Probably “Let me show you my fingers.” [Holds up two remaining fingers on his left hand.]